I’ve been unemployed for over a year.
There, I said it.
To be honest, it’s difficult to wrap my head around. The fact that I’ve been unsuccessful in finding a job for this long. The fact that I’m 56 and job hunting for the third time in five years. The fact that, at this stage of my life, I still don’t know what I want to do with my life (besides be happy, make a good living, and spend time with my kids). And the fact that “life” has been so challenging during this time.
When I lost my job in May of 2024, it’s fair to say that I went through every stage of the Kübler-Ross model – denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance, with an emphasis on depression. As previously mentioned, this was the third time in five years that I’d lost a job (one due to pandemic cut-backs, the other was a bad, toxic fit). How could this happen again?!? Did I mention depression?
Once I finally moved on to acceptance, acceptance looked like, “OH S@#$!” because I’m a divorced dad with pre-teen twins with wants and needs. So I pulled up my bootstraps and got to work filing for unemployment, finding new insurance, updating my resume and LinkedIn, and devoting a lot of time to job search.
But apparently, the way I’m used to conducting a job search isn’t the way to conduct a job search anymore. Whereas LinkedIn and Indeed used to be really strong tools for finding open job opportunities, apparently, many of the listings on those sites are now outdated or no longer available. When applying to a seemingly good job, the applications are sent to a mysterious AI-driven netherworld, where getting a response – any response – seems unlikely. Of course, this isn’t true for every posting, but how is one to know which is legit and which is not? Out of the dozens upon dozens of applications and resumes I’ve sent out in the past year plus, I’ve gotten any response from a few. Got a first interview from fewer, and a second interview? Only a handful. I’ve been told I’m a strong candidate with great experience, but others are a better fit. I’ve been thanked for my time and told they’re moving in a different direction.
And I’ve been ghosted. Several times. It’s enough to rattle one’s confidence. To have one questioning his experience, his education, his resume, and his age. In this youth-driven job market, am I too old? Does my age show through my resume with my varied experiences, which I’d previously thought were a strong personal selling point? Not to mention how many times I’ve been told this is a very difficult, challenging job market, with so many currently unemployed (two friends in the last week alone told me they’ve lost their respective jobs).
Unemployment benefits don’t last forever, and unfortunately ran out for me earlier this year. I’m fortunate and grateful that I have a part-time job where I’ve worked for over 15 years, and that I was able to get a second part-time job with periodic work. And in this gig economy, I’ve been doing DoorDash deliveries to bring in some extra money. But those three combined don’t come close to what I’d typically make with a quality full-time job.
As if all of this isn’t humbling enough, I’ve reached a point where I need help. While being vulnerable and asking for help is HARD (who among us doesn’t think they can do things on their own?), It’s necessary. It’s necessary now.
I’ve been getting support from JVS Careers (thank you, Kim Slaton!) and Jewish Family Services (which has helped me see a therapist again), and something I never in my life thought I’d have to do: go to a food pantry. I’m grateful that these services are there to support me in my time of need, but wow. But as someone smarter than me recently said, I’ve paid into these services all of my working life, so it’s ok to get something back from them. Truer words…
So now? Now I go on. I wake up every day vowing to stay positive, focus on gratitude, and keep up the grind. I truly believe I’ll find that elusive job sooner rather than later. I have faith. And I have faith that the tide will turn for me. In the back of my mind, I think about how I can eventually pay it forward – the help, support, coffee meetings, lunches….all of it.
Hopefully, before I’m 57.
