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Rabbi, I’m in a 12-step program, and sometimes it feels like it’s overly Christian. How can I take a more Jewish approach to my recovery?
First of all, I want to acknowledge how big a deal it is that you are taking the steps toward recovery. That requires bravery, strength, and determination, and I am proud of you for your undertaking.
That being said, one of the fundamental aspects of 12-Step programs is the embracing of a higher power. The crafters of the process were very intentional in creating a relationship to the divine in such a way that it does not speak to one specific tradition at the exclusion of any other; after all, each person who engages in the process brings their own faith and traditions, and that is to be respected and aided. But, alas, any time faith is left open-ended, it gives some the ability to fill in the blank more aggressively. This might mean that a particular meeting or group skews toward Christian theology and ideology in a way that can feel distancing and off-putting for others.
Judaism does, though, offer many ways to make recovery a meaningful experience. Throughout Jewish tradition, Teshuvah (repentance or repair) is an essential value, and gives a person ample opportunity to “get clean” after a period of failing to live up to expectations. Maimonides, in his Mishneh Torah, writes that a person who has sinned and repented is to be considered even more sacred than someone who has never sinned in the first place. Human beings, as a repository of the Divine, is inherently a mixture of the perfection of the world and the imperfection of our human nature, and that is something to be cherished, rather than condemned. In that regard, Judaism is proud of you for doing the work to engage with a 12 Step program.
But that still leaves us to sort out the “higher power” aspect that can so often feel overtly Christian. In many ways, the way we interact with a higher power has been commandeered by the most stereotypical expressions that we see in popular society, so often in Christian terms. But for the purposes of recovery, God is meant to be an intimate relationship, one that helps to bring into focus the notion that you are not alone in your struggle, nor are you the ultimate decider of the universe. There is something deeply comforting about being able to say that I am a small part of a larger world, and God can be a powerful character in expressing that immensity in terms that wind up being very supportive.
For a full discussion about belief in God, there are lots of powerful places to turn. My first suggestion would be to read Rabbi Shai Held’s book, Judaism Is About Love. This book is an excellent introduction into the ways that a meaningful relationship with the divine can feel intimate and powerful, and is a great foundation for establishing what role God can play in your journey toward a fuller, healthier life.
There is one more lens that I think might strike you as helpful. So often, when we begin our conversations about God through the dogmas of religion, it feels as though there is a “right” way and a “wrong” way. But the conception of a higher power that is invoked in the 12 Step system is far more broad. And Judaism actually strongly encourages the individual ability to make one’s relationship with God unique. God isn’t going to feel the same to every single one of us, and that is not only understandable but encouraged. Judaism is a scaffolding that helps to guide us to answers that feel resonant for us, and does not work to condemn us or cast us out for views that are parallel to the central teachings of the faith.
All that being said, you should feel empowered and supported in finding a relationship with God that works for you. Your Judaism is here to provide you with examples of how others have answered their faith-based questions, with a sense of community, and with a support system that can lift you up when you feel low.
May you be blessed with strength, integrity, and support. And know that there is a lot pulling for you, most especially Jewish tradition.
Austin Zoot is the Rabbi Educator at Valley Temple in Wyoming, Ohio.
