For Gayle Schindler, opening up her table during holidays isn’t just for the guests but also for her.
“It’s not only the guests that ‘need’ a match,” she said. “Hosts who are used to a full table, but find themselves far from family or with fewer guests than they would like, really appreciate the opportunity too.”
There are many reasons folks might be searching for new companions for a special meal during the High Holidays. Hachnasat orchim—the mitzvah of welcoming guests—is a fundamental value in Judaism, one Cincy Jewfolk facilitates through its matching program.
Hosting is a labor of love; just ask Abraham and Sarah. At age 99, Abraham spied three strangers wandering in the scorching desert. Overcoming physical agony, he rushed to invite them into his tent.
Abraham and Sarah provided more than a feast and respite; they bestowed such wholehearted and gracious care that they honored their guests. Unbeknownst to Abraham and Sarah, these three were more than wayfarers—they were angels.
Gayle grew up learning from her family about welcoming people into her home.
“My mother taught me how to be a gracious host,” she said. “We celebrated with family and friends, but often had ‘strangers’ at the table, although no one remained a stranger for long.”
Participating in a High Holiday meal can be an immeasurable gift of chesed, kindness, to hosts, making all guests potential angels.
“Without guests, both my table and my heart feel empty,” Gayle said. “If I can provide an opportunity for someone to celebrate, whether they are temporarily away from home, on their own, new to Judaism, or not Jewish at all, it’s worth the time and effort I put in.”
For Gayle, a self-described foodie who used to work as a Private Chef and has written a cookbook, observing the holiday together transcends our taste buds.
“Food is a jumping off point to encourage conversation and discussion,” she said. “Whether the symbolism tells a story…or the dishes trigger conversation about memories, the food is not an end in itself, but a beginning.”
Togetherness is critical as the community endures the pain of the aftermath of Oct 7, the ongoing Israel-Hamas War, the plight of the hostages, and rising antisemitism. While joy and hope must be nurtured, it can be done while acknowledging these realities.
“I think, like Jews everywhere, it’s hard for me to find joy in celebrations while we know that our hostages are suffering, as are their families, our IDF soldiers and their families, and frankly, every single person in Israel,” Gayle said. “I’m sure we will find a way to incorporate these feelings into our Rosh Hashanah this year with a reading or prayer,” she added.
As changed as this year feels, Gayle still aims to entertain and engage her guests.
“I hope [you] will come away with food for thought–pun intended!” she said. “Whether you know a lot or a little, whether you’re engaged Jewishly or not, I hope that our celebration will inspire you in some way, even if it’s just to think.”
Gayle assembles her menu based on seasonality, holiday traditions, and guest preferences. One year, when the holiday fell on Labor Day, Gayle even had a “cookout” theme for her Rosh Hashanah meal.
Whether she serves platters laden with fresh herbs and jewel-like pomegranate arils or the traditional gefilte fish her family counts on; she knows how to set the ambiance.
“Even if you’re preparing only for your family, make the event feel special,” she said.. “Anyone can set a beautiful table. Use a tablecloth, pull out the good china, put flowers on the table. If you don’t have any of those things, buy a package of pretty paper napkins. Put some Jewish music on in the background. Dress up a little.”
These are Gayle’s practical tips for bringing chesed as a guest.
“Number one–be on time. Number two–be honest, when I ask about dietary restrictions and preferences. It’s okay to tell me you don’t like something. Number three–it’s always nice to bring something; it doesn’t have to be expensive or fancy. In fact, it doesn’t have to be a thing at all; it can be a song or a story.”
Starting in September, Gayle will begin writing a new column for Jewfolk, sharing her stories and recipes for the Jewish holidays.
Seeking a place at a welcoming table for 5785/2024 or ready to include someone at yours? Fill out our matching form here!
