If this looks like your grandmother, you just might be an unaffiliated Jew.
There is no single picture, or image, that would describe a typical Jew these days. They range from secular to religious (and beyond); from ethnic Jews to Jews by choice; and from those who have joined and aligned themselves with the Jewish community, to those who may not even know, admit, or care that they are Jewish.
Leaving many to wonder: “Just what is a Jew? How can I tell if I, too, might be Jewish?”
As you might expect, there is no single litmus test, but there are some telltale signs. Here are a few we came up with. Add your own in the comments. Our favorite one wins a free “Jew Betcha” t-shirt!
If you still consider bagels to be an ethnic food … you just might be an unaffiliated Jew !
If your family tree begins with a fellow named Shlomo … you just might be an unaffiliated Jew !
If you simply cannot find a decent AM radio station on Christmas Eve … you just might be an unaffiliated Jew !
If you figure by the first five books of the Bible you’ve pretty much gotten the point … you just might be an unaffiliated Jew !
If you know there is some sort of flame you want to keep alive in your children, but can’t figure out just what that may be …. you just might be an unaffiliated Jew !
If you are 6 foot 7, weigh 350 pounds and play for the Vikings, the odds are very, very slim, but … you just might be an unaffiliated Jew !
If you find yourself laughing at Jewish puns … you just might win a free t-shirt.
If you find yourself shouting “Mazel Tov!!” at your niece’s baptism … you just might be an unaffiliated Jew !
If you hang onto travel brochures to Israel a bit longer than the others … you just might be an unaffiliated Jew !
If you get a cold chill down your spine when someone utters an anti-Semitic remark … you just might be an unaffiliated Jew !
If you will have a BLT but something compels you to hold the mayo … you just might be an unaffiliated Jew !
If your name has been shortened from anything that once ended in either – nik or – ich, you just might be an unaffiliated Jew!
And perhaps most telling of all …
If Golda Meir is the spitting image of your grandmother … you just might be an unaffiliated Jew !
If you feel like you should do “something” when the high holy days rolls around, but just aren’t sure what…you might be an unaffiliated Jew! – from Hannah Stander Riederer
If you know who Jeff Foxworthy is, you might be an unaffiliated Jew – from Brad Serber
If every Jew in town knows who you are but none of the Rabbis do… You might be an unaffiliated Jew… – from Schon D Maher
If you have Hanukkah ham, you might be an unaffiliated Jew – from Dylan Norgard
If you wait outside a synagogue on Yom Kippur waiting for people who won’t be using their tickets for the next service… you might be an unaffiliated Jew – from Michael Wall
If you can pull a Rabbi out of your hat, you might be an unaffiliated Jew – from Ken Callahan
If you think the Jewish Federation has something to do with Star Trek, you might be an unaffiliated Jew. – from Shana Cohen
If when you go outside this week you find yourself schvitzing like a brisket, you might be an unaffiliated Jew. – from Charlie Levine
If you eat a sausage and biscuit, while driving to work on Saturday morning and have to stop in order to renew your Ron Paul fan club membership, you might be an unaffiliated Jew – from Jeffrey Kay
If you know that religion is nonsense but are proud of your heritage anyway, you might be an unaffiliated Jew – from Abbot Kaplan
(Photo credit: Kemon01)
